I have a favorite chair, a very comfy chair, a chair my Loving Hubby bought me when I was pregnant with Girl A...but I have a problem with the chair. It attracts children who want me to rock them, hold them or to just wiggle and squiggle and piss me off.
Every night after baths I sit down in this chair, I read or knit or do homework, but its always in this chair. Every night I am interrupted by a kid. Now, I love the little boogers to death, I really do, but really? During the day when I'm just sitting there between loads of laundry or between dishes or vacuuming or what ever else I have going on, no one bothers me, but if I sit down to do something...oh...hell..no. They descend on me like vultures, circling their prey. They don't always climb up on my lap, sometimes,and worst of all, they'll just sit off to the side, leaning on my arm rest. This doesn't bother me because I was utilizing the arm rest, no, it irritates the hell out of me because they rock me when I don't want to be rocked, or they stop me from rocking, or worse yet, they just "jiggle" the fricken chair.
At first, I say very politely, "Please get off of mommy's chair, I don't like it when you do that." This usually buys me about 5 min of piece before, and it's always the same kid, they come back and are back at the annoying game of "Piss Mom Off". Second time around sounds more like, "Now that's enough! Please get off of my chair, I don't like that it makes me mad". I consider this fair warning to the little lovies that the next offense will have me yelling. Ten minutes tops and they're back at it, this time it sounds like "GET OFF MY DAMN CHAIR! I DON'T LIKE THAT, IT MAKES ME MAD, BACK OFF BEFORE I SPANK YOU!!!"
Now, this is where the tears start. Oh my GxD mom...just...yelled at me!!! BaaaaaaaaWaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Cry me a freakin river you little twirp. We go through this every night. When it first started happeneing I always felt instantly bad and would scoop them up and rock them and love them, but now...get over it. Every Night! Every single night we have to play this little charade, and it comes as a shock every night! Really? Kid gets a burn from a flat iron I told them to stay away from and now they won't even come in the doorway when I'm doing my hair, but sit in a chair and yell at them every night and the memory is wiped out every morning!??!?!?!?! Maybe I should sit armed with a flat iron instead of a laptop and sarcastic words?!
PS ( I have said "Get Off Of My Chair" at least 5 times since I started writing this...)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Ping Pong Clean Up - the greatest game EVER!
My house is a pig stye, I am not even going to try to pretend I have a clean house. I would love to be one of those people whose house is always company ready, but I have never been a super cleaner to begin with so add me,my not so cleaning Hubby and three never pick up a thing kids, and you have a terribly messy house!
So this past week, I set out to change that. My sister gave me an idea she had seen on T.V. You take ping pong balls and write chores on them, then you very nosily drop them in a bag and everyone picks out one ball at a time and that's your chore. I got bright colored ones for my kids, and plain for me and the Hubs. Girl A LOVES it. She actually asks to play it. Of course her ping pong chores are like "Pick up the shoes out of the living room" or "Pick up all the books". We make it super fun by trying to do it as fast as we can, and so far the living room is clean every night before we go to bed! The Hubs and I are a different story...not once have we drawn our own ping pong clean up game. Well, maybe this week we can change that. ;-)
So this past week, I set out to change that. My sister gave me an idea she had seen on T.V. You take ping pong balls and write chores on them, then you very nosily drop them in a bag and everyone picks out one ball at a time and that's your chore. I got bright colored ones for my kids, and plain for me and the Hubs. Girl A LOVES it. She actually asks to play it. Of course her ping pong chores are like "Pick up the shoes out of the living room" or "Pick up all the books". We make it super fun by trying to do it as fast as we can, and so far the living room is clean every night before we go to bed! The Hubs and I are a different story...not once have we drawn our own ping pong clean up game. Well, maybe this week we can change that. ;-)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Don't touch me I'm sleeping!
The best and worst thing that could have ever happened to me when having children was to get children who are snuggley! I LOVE to hold and cuddle and snuggle the little lovies all day long, and when they want to be "holded" as Girl A puts it, when going to bed. But that's where it ends. As the title suggests, don't touch me when I'm sleeping. This has been a sore subject between me and the Hubby since we started sharing a bed. I don't like to be touched...period. I sleep on my stomach, arms folded underneath me and facing out to the left, away from my hubby. He HATES it. He's a snuggler.
The kids like to climb in bed with us every once and a while, and I love it and hate it. I love it while I'm awake and can hold them and snuggle, but when I want to go to sleep, they don't go away. Take Girl A for example. I move away from her and for a while she sleeps on her own, but before too long she rolls right up next to me, crowding me. I scootch her back over, and a little while later her knees are in my side. I scootch her back and on and on it goes, various parts of her kicking, hitting or snuggling me. I can't sleep.
Take Boy, this kid is a nightmare. He is so darn snuggly, and I have a super soft spot for him because he's my boy, but dang it, he doesn't take no for an answer. Once I roll over to go to sleep, even if he is already asleep, the little jerk is immediately on top of me. Not just trying to lay next to me, literally on top of me, laying on me trying to get me to hold him. So I roll onto my side facing away from him, he lays perpendicular to me and throws his legs over my side. So I roll onto my stomach, he moves so that he can lay between my arm and my body, like a true snuggler. He's definitly his father's child. So I roll onto my side facing him. Boy snuggles in as close as he can to you. I need to metion that this kid is a furnace. It's 62 degrees in our room at night and I am sweating. I finally find a position I can sleep in, only to be woken up about every half hour to a knee or a foot in my back or face or my kidney. Nightmare I tell you, nightmare!
DON'T TOUCH ME WHEN I'M SLEEPING!!! It wouldn't be so bad if they would give up and go snuggle their own kind, but no. They never leave me the whole night to go snuggle their daddy. Instead they torcher him with the same kicks and hits I get, only more frequently because they use him as leverage and push off of him to get closer to me. I'm just not a sleeping snuggler I tell you. Girl B is a mystery, she's too little to sleep in our bed unless she's sick and then there's not a whole lot of sleeping anyway and whole lot of snuggling.
The kids like to climb in bed with us every once and a while, and I love it and hate it. I love it while I'm awake and can hold them and snuggle, but when I want to go to sleep, they don't go away. Take Girl A for example. I move away from her and for a while she sleeps on her own, but before too long she rolls right up next to me, crowding me. I scootch her back over, and a little while later her knees are in my side. I scootch her back and on and on it goes, various parts of her kicking, hitting or snuggling me. I can't sleep.
Take Boy, this kid is a nightmare. He is so darn snuggly, and I have a super soft spot for him because he's my boy, but dang it, he doesn't take no for an answer. Once I roll over to go to sleep, even if he is already asleep, the little jerk is immediately on top of me. Not just trying to lay next to me, literally on top of me, laying on me trying to get me to hold him. So I roll onto my side facing away from him, he lays perpendicular to me and throws his legs over my side. So I roll onto my stomach, he moves so that he can lay between my arm and my body, like a true snuggler. He's definitly his father's child. So I roll onto my side facing him. Boy snuggles in as close as he can to you. I need to metion that this kid is a furnace. It's 62 degrees in our room at night and I am sweating. I finally find a position I can sleep in, only to be woken up about every half hour to a knee or a foot in my back or face or my kidney. Nightmare I tell you, nightmare!
DON'T TOUCH ME WHEN I'M SLEEPING!!! It wouldn't be so bad if they would give up and go snuggle their own kind, but no. They never leave me the whole night to go snuggle their daddy. Instead they torcher him with the same kicks and hits I get, only more frequently because they use him as leverage and push off of him to get closer to me. I'm just not a sleeping snuggler I tell you. Girl B is a mystery, she's too little to sleep in our bed unless she's sick and then there's not a whole lot of sleeping anyway and whole lot of snuggling.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Snow and Hungry Kids don't mix.
Tuesdays and Thursday I have classes on Campus. This also means that on those days Girl A is on campus with me, but at the childcare center.
Today started out well enough, it was 40+ degrees when we left at 9:15. By 12:45 it was less than 30 degrees and by 2:30 it was snowing. Not a big deal except I wasn't leaving campus unti 5:00pm and didn't want to be driving in the snow with the a-holes who seem to forget how to drive in the slippery, fluffy white stuff. So by 5:15 when had collected and loaded Girl A into the van the roads were in a less than desirable condition.
Girl A and I set out and skid to a stop at the first stop sign. Whew, stopped before the intersection! At the stop sign I hear "Mom, I'm hungry" coming from the back seat. I say "Ok when we get home we'll have a quick snack." Turn left onto the main street and drive .4 miles and I hear "Mom, what kid of snack will we have?" I say, "We'll figure it out when we get there hunnie." Drive another .4 miles and skid around a curve while listening to "I want pop tarts when we get home" coming from the back. I say "Ok, how about we have a little quiet while mommy tries to drive in the snow." "Ok". Whew.
Girl A and I make about 2 seconds in the silence before I hear "What's for dinner? I want Mac and Cheese" Slitely annoyed,I say "That's fine, can you be quiet so I can concentrate please?" "Ok". Another fabulously quiet seconds later..."I really want a pop tart for a snack but Daddy said we don't have any pop tarts left." "Ok, well, if the roads aren't bad around home, we'll go to the Dollar store and get some, now please be quiet" As you can imagine the normal 30 min drive, now turned 50 min drive home followed a similar pattern with similar questions the whole ride. Until, (please read my response in that high squeaky voice I poted about earlier) "Mooooom, I want pop taaaaarts!" "FINE, NOW PLEASE JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN DRIVE WITHOUT KILLING US BOTH!!!!!!" Probably not the best thing to scream at your 4 yr old, but it did the job. We road the next 5 min in silence.
The moral of the story is that Hungry Kids and Snow don't mix. Next time I will be like my mom and save something from my lunch to feed the hungry little moster in the back seat.
Today started out well enough, it was 40+ degrees when we left at 9:15. By 12:45 it was less than 30 degrees and by 2:30 it was snowing. Not a big deal except I wasn't leaving campus unti 5:00pm and didn't want to be driving in the snow with the a-holes who seem to forget how to drive in the slippery, fluffy white stuff. So by 5:15 when had collected and loaded Girl A into the van the roads were in a less than desirable condition.
Girl A and I set out and skid to a stop at the first stop sign. Whew, stopped before the intersection! At the stop sign I hear "Mom, I'm hungry" coming from the back seat. I say "Ok when we get home we'll have a quick snack." Turn left onto the main street and drive .4 miles and I hear "Mom, what kid of snack will we have?" I say, "We'll figure it out when we get there hunnie." Drive another .4 miles and skid around a curve while listening to "I want pop tarts when we get home" coming from the back. I say "Ok, how about we have a little quiet while mommy tries to drive in the snow." "Ok". Whew.
Girl A and I make about 2 seconds in the silence before I hear "What's for dinner? I want Mac and Cheese" Slitely annoyed,I say "That's fine, can you be quiet so I can concentrate please?" "Ok". Another fabulously quiet seconds later..."I really want a pop tart for a snack but Daddy said we don't have any pop tarts left." "Ok, well, if the roads aren't bad around home, we'll go to the Dollar store and get some, now please be quiet" As you can imagine the normal 30 min drive, now turned 50 min drive home followed a similar pattern with similar questions the whole ride. Until, (please read my response in that high squeaky voice I poted about earlier) "Mooooom, I want pop taaaaarts!" "FINE, NOW PLEASE JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN DRIVE WITHOUT KILLING US BOTH!!!!!!" Probably not the best thing to scream at your 4 yr old, but it did the job. We road the next 5 min in silence.
The moral of the story is that Hungry Kids and Snow don't mix. Next time I will be like my mom and save something from my lunch to feed the hungry little moster in the back seat.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Proper Attire.
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!
When going out in public there are things one should NEVER wear. Here is my list of things people should avoid. Most of them compiled through years of working clothing retail.
1) A shelf Bra Cami DOES NOT mean you can go bra-less. Here are some simple rules to remember with that:
Absentee A-Cup -- You may not have much, but control what you've got!
Barely there B-Cup -- You have enough to need support no matter what.
Contain those C-Cups -- You should NEVER be seen without a bra.
Detain those D-Cups -- Seriously, if you think of leaving the house without a bra on, I hope you hit a pot hole and your boobs fly up and smack you in the face for leaving them so unprotected!!
2) Pajama pants are not aproprate public attire, end of story. Yes, the flannel cloud pants are so comfortable, but really? You are so lazy you couldn't find some equally as comfortable sweatpants or yoga pants so you at least look somewhat like an adult?!?!?! Maybe you should invest on some of those "Pajama Jeans" that I keep seeing advertised in the coupon section of the Sunday paper. You look like the type of person they are advertising to anyway.
3) Slippers are not shoes! I once saw a girl on campus who had done her hair and make up, put on a nice button down shirt with all the layered accoutrements and skinny jeans. She looked fabulous until I saw her choice of foot wear...Ducky slippers. What happened here? Did you run out of time to zip up those riding boots that would have completed the ensemble?!? Could you not find the strappy sandles that would have made you look slightly slutty, be still stunning?? Such potential ruined by slacker-itis. Slippers are NOT shoes people!!!
4) Leggins are NOT for everyone. Morbidly Obese people...these are not ment for you. They do nothing for your figure, they definitely do NOT make you look thinner, and Honey, who are you kidding, they do NOT make you look sexy.
5) If you are fat, or have any sort of Muffin Top..WEAR A SHIRT THAT COVERS IT ALL! Please for the love of GxD, I cannot handle looking at my own flab, let alone your stretch marked, inches think, roll of a spare tire you have hanging over your jeans (or leggins, depending on the deranged individual who thinks this is hot/sexy/cool). Please, they make long shirts for a reason, true Walmart does not feel the need to make longer shirts, it would cost too much for its loyal shoppers, but Target or even K-mart are similar in price ranges as well as have amazing clearance sales, making shopping more fun, and they have shirts in longer lengths to cover you gut. No excuse for bare flab.
There are several more of these to come, but these I feel are the most pressing at this time as I am doing laundry so that I have a nice, stain free shirt to wear tomorrow along with a pair of stain free jeans that are absent of wholes (these subject will be covered next time)
When going out in public there are things one should NEVER wear. Here is my list of things people should avoid. Most of them compiled through years of working clothing retail.
1) A shelf Bra Cami DOES NOT mean you can go bra-less. Here are some simple rules to remember with that:
Absentee A-Cup -- You may not have much, but control what you've got!
Barely there B-Cup -- You have enough to need support no matter what.
Contain those C-Cups -- You should NEVER be seen without a bra.
Detain those D-Cups -- Seriously, if you think of leaving the house without a bra on, I hope you hit a pot hole and your boobs fly up and smack you in the face for leaving them so unprotected!!
2) Pajama pants are not aproprate public attire, end of story. Yes, the flannel cloud pants are so comfortable, but really? You are so lazy you couldn't find some equally as comfortable sweatpants or yoga pants so you at least look somewhat like an adult?!?!?! Maybe you should invest on some of those "Pajama Jeans" that I keep seeing advertised in the coupon section of the Sunday paper. You look like the type of person they are advertising to anyway.
3) Slippers are not shoes! I once saw a girl on campus who had done her hair and make up, put on a nice button down shirt with all the layered accoutrements and skinny jeans. She looked fabulous until I saw her choice of foot wear...Ducky slippers. What happened here? Did you run out of time to zip up those riding boots that would have completed the ensemble?!? Could you not find the strappy sandles that would have made you look slightly slutty, be still stunning?? Such potential ruined by slacker-itis. Slippers are NOT shoes people!!!
4) Leggins are NOT for everyone. Morbidly Obese people...these are not ment for you. They do nothing for your figure, they definitely do NOT make you look thinner, and Honey, who are you kidding, they do NOT make you look sexy.
5) If you are fat, or have any sort of Muffin Top..WEAR A SHIRT THAT COVERS IT ALL! Please for the love of GxD, I cannot handle looking at my own flab, let alone your stretch marked, inches think, roll of a spare tire you have hanging over your jeans (or leggins, depending on the deranged individual who thinks this is hot/sexy/cool). Please, they make long shirts for a reason, true Walmart does not feel the need to make longer shirts, it would cost too much for its loyal shoppers, but Target or even K-mart are similar in price ranges as well as have amazing clearance sales, making shopping more fun, and they have shirts in longer lengths to cover you gut. No excuse for bare flab.
There are several more of these to come, but these I feel are the most pressing at this time as I am doing laundry so that I have a nice, stain free shirt to wear tomorrow along with a pair of stain free jeans that are absent of wholes (these subject will be covered next time)
Sinking Ships
Here is an opinionated blog about sinking ships and the not so selfless people on board.
I have been reading about the grounding of the ship off of Italy. I have heard a lot of comparissons to Titanic and how chaotic it was. Then I read the comments and almost all of them are cracking jokes about the captain, how he should rot in jail, or, and this one really bothers me and will be the basis for the rant of the blog, "Women and Children First" rule of the life boats.
My problem with this is simple, people think it is unfair and men should be allowed on too. Well guess what, men can't have babies which is one of the main reasons why they don't go first in a disaster, they can't produce more, self centered, worried about their own skin assholes! If Sean and I were in that possition, we'd be shoving the kids in a boat and then both probably miss the boat fighting over who was staying behind (provided the equal rights screamers win, and it's children and one parent first, by the time you convince my butt to get on a giant boat heading for sea). I don't know what those parents were doing in that situation, but they obviously split up; people are outraged by it.
All I can hope is that those protesting the sea law of women and children first, don't actually have kids. I can see it now... Mom and Dad are on a cruise with little Jhonny and Jhenny (yeah, their those weird spelling kind of parents) and the ship starts to sink. Mom, Dad, Jh and Jh make it on deck to a life boat and hear "Women and Children first!" and Dad says...
"Women and children first, huh? This is a violation of the equal rights movement I demand you let us all on! What do you mean the Sea law didn't keep up with the equal rights movement?!?! I am formally protesting your Sea Law and will stage a quiet sit in, here on the deck with my family in protest. If we die, it's on your hands..."
Really douche? A sit in, on a sinking ship? You're sooooooooo pissed that you aren't included that instead of saving your wife and kids you'll condem them to die a terrible death of either realizing its pointless and breathing in water, or freezing to death. Oh, and it isn't your fault at all that you all died, stupidity and selfishness played no part, it's all an equal rights violation and the crew just let it happen...a small gem of what's wrong with people...self importance over the consideration and care of others!
The good news is, that little description of breathing in water, yeah, that's what keeps me from going on a cruise so I'll hopefully never face a choice like that and I can sit happily in my judgemental chair knowing I would make the right choice! :-)
I have been reading about the grounding of the ship off of Italy. I have heard a lot of comparissons to Titanic and how chaotic it was. Then I read the comments and almost all of them are cracking jokes about the captain, how he should rot in jail, or, and this one really bothers me and will be the basis for the rant of the blog, "Women and Children First" rule of the life boats.
My problem with this is simple, people think it is unfair and men should be allowed on too. Well guess what, men can't have babies which is one of the main reasons why they don't go first in a disaster, they can't produce more, self centered, worried about their own skin assholes! If Sean and I were in that possition, we'd be shoving the kids in a boat and then both probably miss the boat fighting over who was staying behind (provided the equal rights screamers win, and it's children and one parent first, by the time you convince my butt to get on a giant boat heading for sea). I don't know what those parents were doing in that situation, but they obviously split up; people are outraged by it.
All I can hope is that those protesting the sea law of women and children first, don't actually have kids. I can see it now... Mom and Dad are on a cruise with little Jhonny and Jhenny (yeah, their those weird spelling kind of parents) and the ship starts to sink. Mom, Dad, Jh and Jh make it on deck to a life boat and hear "Women and Children first!" and Dad says...
"Women and children first, huh? This is a violation of the equal rights movement I demand you let us all on! What do you mean the Sea law didn't keep up with the equal rights movement?!?! I am formally protesting your Sea Law and will stage a quiet sit in, here on the deck with my family in protest. If we die, it's on your hands..."
Really douche? A sit in, on a sinking ship? You're sooooooooo pissed that you aren't included that instead of saving your wife and kids you'll condem them to die a terrible death of either realizing its pointless and breathing in water, or freezing to death. Oh, and it isn't your fault at all that you all died, stupidity and selfishness played no part, it's all an equal rights violation and the crew just let it happen...a small gem of what's wrong with people...self importance over the consideration and care of others!
The good news is, that little description of breathing in water, yeah, that's what keeps me from going on a cruise so I'll hopefully never face a choice like that and I can sit happily in my judgemental chair knowing I would make the right choice! :-)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I don't do blood.
When the Hubby and I talked about having kids, we also talked about our bodily fluid strengths and weaknesses. It was decided that I handled poop, pee and boogers and Hubby had puke and blood. We should have known this never was a solid agreement because we weren't always going to be together with the kids 100% of the time. Since having Girl A four years ago, Boy two years ago and Girl B a year ago, I have handled my far share of of everything. Everything except blood. I don't do blood.
Here's why I don't do blood, it creeps me out. Imagine a person who looks like they are marching in place, while shaking their hands around them and emmitting a high pitched squeal...also known as the Creepy Dance. That's me with blood, even my own. Even my kids' blood is not immune to my disliking when not circulating through their little bodies. I don't know why, but when ever I see blood I get the chills and start doing the Creepy Dance. So this afternoon when Girl A is screaming like she's on fire, and then I see her flinging her arm that is dripping with blood...(cringe at the thought) all I wanted to do was the Creepy Dance.
There is blood on the wall, the carpet and dripping down her arm. I bravely hold back my schrill screech, and say "What happened?" Girl A stops her sobbing momentarily to tell me "The toy bin..waaaaah", and begins to shake her arm again, dripping blood Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Apparently I've passed my blood creeps to her. After deciding this wasn't something an ordinary bandaid would cover, we wash off the blood and sit on the kitchen floor fashioning a bandage out of gauze and Hello Kitty bandaids. All the while, in my head screeching like a banchee about the blood (another shudder).
After the arm is cleaned up, taped up and kissed she climbs back upstairs to go back to playing. I take the evil toy bin out of the room and pitch it because what cut her was a metal ribbon used to make it a "pop-up" toy bin. Once everything returns to normal and quiet...I finally do my creep out dance. Yes, at 29 years old, I still do the creep out dance to the site of blood. My job is not done. Now I have to clean up the blood of the wall and carpet. It's even creepier than dealing with it still on the kid.
Why can't these kids wait to get injured when the Hubby is home? He's great with blood. His Army training has given him the knowledge of how to insert an IV (not that I'd ever let him), he has watched them cut open a pig, just to staunch the bleeding with quick clot, he's built for this kind of thing, me not so much. Tonight I will undoubtedly have dreams of bleeding people causing a restless night and a cranky Momma tomorrow. I just don't do blood.
Here's why I don't do blood, it creeps me out. Imagine a person who looks like they are marching in place, while shaking their hands around them and emmitting a high pitched squeal...also known as the Creepy Dance. That's me with blood, even my own. Even my kids' blood is not immune to my disliking when not circulating through their little bodies. I don't know why, but when ever I see blood I get the chills and start doing the Creepy Dance. So this afternoon when Girl A is screaming like she's on fire, and then I see her flinging her arm that is dripping with blood...(cringe at the thought) all I wanted to do was the Creepy Dance.
There is blood on the wall, the carpet and dripping down her arm. I bravely hold back my schrill screech, and say "What happened?" Girl A stops her sobbing momentarily to tell me "The toy bin..waaaaah", and begins to shake her arm again, dripping blood Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Apparently I've passed my blood creeps to her. After deciding this wasn't something an ordinary bandaid would cover, we wash off the blood and sit on the kitchen floor fashioning a bandage out of gauze and Hello Kitty bandaids. All the while, in my head screeching like a banchee about the blood (another shudder).
After the arm is cleaned up, taped up and kissed she climbs back upstairs to go back to playing. I take the evil toy bin out of the room and pitch it because what cut her was a metal ribbon used to make it a "pop-up" toy bin. Once everything returns to normal and quiet...I finally do my creep out dance. Yes, at 29 years old, I still do the creep out dance to the site of blood. My job is not done. Now I have to clean up the blood of the wall and carpet. It's even creepier than dealing with it still on the kid.
Why can't these kids wait to get injured when the Hubby is home? He's great with blood. His Army training has given him the knowledge of how to insert an IV (not that I'd ever let him), he has watched them cut open a pig, just to staunch the bleeding with quick clot, he's built for this kind of thing, me not so much. Tonight I will undoubtedly have dreams of bleeding people causing a restless night and a cranky Momma tomorrow. I just don't do blood.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Why I can never find anything.
I live in a house of controlled chaos. In a cluttery mess, I know where everything is. Today however, Boy took my chaos a step further. We recently switched him into what was the home office, but we had to leave our file cabinet in there for the night. I thought "No biggie, he's 2, he probably can't even open the drawer"...where is the buzzer that goes off at basketball games that lets you know the clock has run down? Because I could have used that to let me know the clock on bright ideas was officially out of time. At 12am, I hear a loud "kathud" I get up to investigate. I discover Boy has not only opened the drawer I was so sure he couldn't, but also pulled out every last piece of paper on there and spread it out on the floor like he was mixing up a game of Go Fish.
Now, to be fair, I should have known this would only end in disaster, even the pediatrician thinks he is freakishly strong for a 2 yr old, but that doesn't stop me from being steemed at the mess. I quickly pick up the papers with help from the Hubby, because you know I had to wake him to see what HIS son had done. (Whenever a kid misbehaves, ownership of said kid is passed to the parent not resposible for the kid at the time of misbehaving. What? It's not like this everywhere? Huh.) Here's the real reason I am so miffed. I have just purchased several boxes to neatly file away the piles of documents of years past out of that cabinet to make room for more current things, a job that could easily take 2 maybe 3 hours before Boy got into the drawer. Now it will take all day to sort, put files back together, and re-file. It's a good thing I have an amazing friend coming to help with that lovely chore.
Now, to be fair, I should have known this would only end in disaster, even the pediatrician thinks he is freakishly strong for a 2 yr old, but that doesn't stop me from being steemed at the mess. I quickly pick up the papers with help from the Hubby, because you know I had to wake him to see what HIS son had done. (Whenever a kid misbehaves, ownership of said kid is passed to the parent not resposible for the kid at the time of misbehaving. What? It's not like this everywhere? Huh.) Here's the real reason I am so miffed. I have just purchased several boxes to neatly file away the piles of documents of years past out of that cabinet to make room for more current things, a job that could easily take 2 maybe 3 hours before Boy got into the drawer. Now it will take all day to sort, put files back together, and re-file. It's a good thing I have an amazing friend coming to help with that lovely chore.
A Guide on How to Read my Blog.
Hopefully by the title you have no misconceptions about what my content will be like. I have three kids and I love them more than life itself, but that doesn't seem to stop them from driving me nuts. This blog is a way to put out there the craziness that can be an ordinary day for me.
1) I have three kids who I will protect as much as possible, so for the sake of the blog their names are Girl A, Boy and Girl B. Unless you know me personally, you aren't priveledged enough to know their real names.
2) When I get angry and yell at my little lovies (I like to think of it as talking in a loud, authoritative tone, but I'm not fooling anyone), when I retell the events, I always seem to use a higher octave than normal, squeaky voice. So find that pitch that you would think of and use it in your head while reading, it makes it funnier.
3) I have a Hubby who I love dearly,but even he can frazzle my nerves and piss me off, so you might read a couple "crazy lady" rants about him every now and then. Hopefully not too often.
4) I am trying to be a better Mommy everyday, so negative. non-contructive critisism is unwelcome. Leave positive feed back to help me on my journey. You'll feel better if you do that instead of critiquing my terrible spelling and grammar and just leaving nasty messages about how terrible I am at being a parent. I know I have room to improve, but so do you. Karma is a bitch, I've seen her work, it isn't pretty.
Keep these things in mind and this could be a fun experience!
1) I have three kids who I will protect as much as possible, so for the sake of the blog their names are Girl A, Boy and Girl B. Unless you know me personally, you aren't priveledged enough to know their real names.
2) When I get angry and yell at my little lovies (I like to think of it as talking in a loud, authoritative tone, but I'm not fooling anyone), when I retell the events, I always seem to use a higher octave than normal, squeaky voice. So find that pitch that you would think of and use it in your head while reading, it makes it funnier.
3) I have a Hubby who I love dearly,but even he can frazzle my nerves and piss me off, so you might read a couple "crazy lady" rants about him every now and then. Hopefully not too often.
4) I am trying to be a better Mommy everyday, so negative. non-contructive critisism is unwelcome. Leave positive feed back to help me on my journey. You'll feel better if you do that instead of critiquing my terrible spelling and grammar and just leaving nasty messages about how terrible I am at being a parent. I know I have room to improve, but so do you. Karma is a bitch, I've seen her work, it isn't pretty.
Keep these things in mind and this could be a fun experience!
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