When you are thinking about having a family, you always hear "It's so important to establish a routine early" or "babies crave routine.." and the ever present "Is her routine steady?"
I HATE ROUTINES!!!!
Let me be clear, I like to have normalcy, and something that never changes, but I also know how to roll with the punches. I rarely get all bent out of shape if something changes at the drop of a hat, but I'm not a free floating spirit either. I have moments where I just can't take on more change and I have moments where I'm thinking "WTF" as my Hubs goes into Monster mode because no one is following the "routine"
Here's one way you can be sure to piss me off by breaking a plan or routine;
I say "Ok, in 10 min we'll be ready to get in the car" after 10 min I say "Ok let's head out" and you say "Just a minute, I've got to get my shoes on, go potty, get something to drink and get cuppies around for the kids..." I will be pissed! WTF were you doing the past 10 effing minutes?!?! You weren't changing diapers, or getting shoes and coats on...so WTF were you doing that was so GD important that you didn't get all that shit done in those 10 effing minutes?!?!?! I cannot stand being late, even if there is no strict arrival time, if I say we're leaving in 10 minutes...WE'RE LEAVING IN 10 EFFING MINUTES!!!
Enough about me, let's talks about Hooligans A, B, and C.
Hooligan A aka Girl A, is a whiner. She is also Sassy, Bossy and a spoiled rotten brat. I know, I only have myself to blame, but it's the truth.
Hooligan B aka Boy is a brute. He has trouble communitcating and we're working on getting him into therapy for it. He might also have some coping issues, but we're not sure.
Hoolgan C aka Girl B is a feisty boss. She walks around with her toddler bhudda belly squawking orders at everyone in a language only she can understand...maybe Hooligan B knows it too...jury's still out.
Onto the routine thing....
Hooligan A is pretty good about following any routine you tell her to follow, but she gets pretty mouthy if you try to change it. She first sasses you about what was supposed to happen, then she whines about it, then she has a temper tantrum only a spoiled princess could muster. For this reason I have learned to NOT set forth a verbal routine...like leaving in 10min...it irks her too if it doesn't happen. (She's figured out how to judge time by the "big" hand..smart cookie)
Hooligan B is terrible about routines. He responds well to food bribes only adding to his brute-ish-ness by giving him more weight and muscle. Tell him we're leaving in 10 minutes and he's standing at the door in 5 seconds saying "Gooooo Bye Byeeeeee" and twisting the knob trying to get out without shoes and without a coat. For this reason I have learned to NOT set forth a verbal routine...like leaving in 10min!
Hooligan C is a free spirit. She does things on her own time and at her own pace. She only moves on time if you carry her. Teller her we're leaving in 10 minutes makes her run for cover. She finds a blanket and hides under it until she thinks the danger of going outside has passed. Some how she is not an outdoorsy person. For this reason I've learned to NOT set forth a verbal routine...like leaving in 10 min.
Hubby is a class A procrastinator like me. We make a terrible pair at getting any where on time. But if I tell him we're leaving in 10 minutes, he will say "ok" and then sit in the chair and play angry birds or try to finish his program while I get everyone else around. So when I'm ready to go, he is no where near ready! ARG! For this reason I have learned TO set forth a verbal routine...like we're leaving in 10min....along with several warning alarms at the 8, 5 and 2 minute marks!
So in conclusion...routine schmoopine! Having a routine throughout the day just means that everyday I will be having a coranary because no one is following it but me. We go at our own pace. I remind small hooligans of things that others won't tolerate and so they shouldn't do it at home. In a way, we do have a routine, our routine is no routine!
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